


The Blood Curse

by Aria_Lerendeair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blindness, Blood Curse, Falling In Love, Gabriel is a snarky bastard, Hallucifer Nightmares, Insecurity, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Sam is Blind, Sam is Cursed, Unworthiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:44:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3226256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean are finishing up a simple Salt and Burn when Sam suddenly finds himself unable to see.  His blindness is the cause of something much more complicated than a simple spell.  It's a blood curse, placed on him by a demon.  There's only one being on the planet who knows enough about blood curses to break them.  Kali, the Destroyer.  Good thing Sam knows a certain archangel who Kali owes a favor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes: I owe the biggest thank you to GreyMichaela, who helped me edit this and make it the story it is today. I couldn’t have done it without you. I also owe a huge, amazing thank you to my artist, evian-fork, who not ONLY created the banner and one additional piece (BOTH OF WHICH ARE FUCKING AMAZING OKAY?), went on to create an additional ten pieces. You are amazing and I adore you so much. 
> 
> YOU NEED TO GO CHECK OUT ALL OF THE DELICIOUS ART OVER HERE: http://evian-fork.livejournal.com/156558.html
> 
> I'm also going to be embedding in the fic. BUT YEAH. THIS IS AWESOME.
> 
> Also now translated into Russian by the wonderful Shiorino!! https://ficbook.net/readfic/3192337 
> 
> Thank you so much for the translation!!

Sam grinned and kept warming his hands against the fire, glancing up at his brother.  It was down to mere embers, but he was still buzzing with the high of a job well done.  It was rare that they managed to get a job done so damn quickly and without any additional deaths.  "We did good, huh?"  

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed both of the shovels.  "Yup!  One more additional count of grave digging against the both of us, another bastard salted and burned and now we can go home for burgers!"  

Sam snorted and watched his brother head back to the car, spending one last moment warming his hands before he brushed the last of the dirt off them and turned towards the car.  

In an instant, everything went black.  

Sam froze in place, blinking hard.  He could feel his eyelids moving.  He took a slow breath and closed his eyes.  Touch was still fine.  He could hear Dean whistling.  The Impala was a hundred and fifty yards to the right or so.  "Dean!"  

"C'mon Sammy, I'm not waiting too long for you!"  Dean teased.  Sam didn't move, holding out his hands in front of him.  "Yo, Sammy!"  

"Dean, I can't see!"  Sam shouted.  He took another measured breath, horror creeping up on him.  

Dean snorted.  "Yeah, no shit, it's cloudy as fuck and the fire is dying.  Come on, I promise I'll catch you if you fall!"  

"Dean!"  Sam said, his voice taking on an edge of panic as he blinked again.  "I cannot see.  Anything!  Nothing!"  

He could feel the tension from his brother and the sound of Dean striding towards him again.  "Dean!"  Sam held out his hand, hoping that his brother wouldn't just come out of nowhere and touch him when he couldn't see a single fucking thing.  

"It's okay, Sammy, I'm here, I'm here," Dean said, reaching out to touch Sam on the forearm.  He moved Sam carefully away from the grave.  Sam turned his head in Dean’s direction as he slid his feet along the ground, feeling his way.

"I can't see," Sam repeated, shifting his hand so he could reach out and grab Dean's arm, tightening his hold on him so he could try to bring him even closer.  Fuck, fuck, fuck!  He didn't want to lose his sight!   _He couldn't!_  

Dean tightened his grip on Sam’s arm, worry making his voice tight.  "Did you feel or smell anything?"  

"No."  Sam shook his head.  "I didn't smell anything and I didn't feel anything.  I just blinked once and then it was gone!" he said, forcing another deep breath.  He needed to not panic.  Dean would help him figure things out.  He couldn't panic.  Dean was here.  

"Okay.  Okay.  I'm right here.  You're safe.  I'm going to lead you back to the car and then I'm going to call Cas.  He'll be able to figure out what the hell is going on," Dean said, gripping Sam's arm.  "You're a hundred yards or so from the Impala.  I want you to follow where I pull you, okay?"  

Sam nodded again and focused on Dean's hand.  This was easy, at least.  He'd been following Dean most of his life.  It was second nature.  They reached the Impala in no time and Sam rested his hand against it, listening as Dean pulled out his cell phone and called Cas.  

"Cas, I need you to get down here _now_!"   

Sam fought the urge to smile.  At least Dean sounded freaked out too.  Always good to know that he wasn't alone with this type of thing.  He took another deep breath.  Cas was fully angeled up and had recovered his Grace.  He would be able to help.  Or at least figure out what had caused him to lose his sight so they could work on reversing it.  

"Dean, what was so important that you had to pull me away-"

"Sam can't see!" Dean growled, waving towards Sam.  "I need you to tell me what did that to him and how we can fix it!"  

Castiel’s voice came from a little closer to Sam.  "You can't see, Sam?"  

Sam tilted his head and turned it in the direction of the angel.  Had he heard...wings?  He frowned a little and shook his head.  "No.  It's black.  Almost like my eyes are closed.  All the other senses are fine.  A little heightened, but I’m pretty sure that’s the adrenaline talking."  

Fingers touched Sam’s forehead and he flinched violently backward.   

"Apologies, Sam,” Cas said immediately. “May I touch you on the forehead?  I'm three feet away from you now."

Sam nodded.  "You don't make sounds when you move."  At least with Dean, he had been able to hear him walking closer, hear the sound of his breathing.  Castiel was silent.  Almost entirely.  

"No.  And I am sorry."  Castiel pressed his fingertips to Sam's forehead and Sam waited, holding his breath.  "I believe that you have been cursed, Sam."  

Okay.  Curses could be lifted.  Now they just needed to figure out what had cursed him, and then they could worry about the rest.  "By who?"  

"I am not sure," Castiel said, frowning.  "A god, perhaps.  Or a goddess.  Something old and very powerful."  

Dean’s voice came from a little nearer, as if he’d moved to stand closer to Castiel.  "Can you heal him?"  

"Not with Grace,” Castiel said. “I would risk the curse being permanent."  He pulled his fingers away from Sam.  "I will research this and see if I am able to find an answer for you both."  

Sam nodded and took another breath.  "All right.  We'll go back to the hotel and do some research of our own-"  He froze as horror struck him.  Research.  His computer. There was no way for him to research now.  Sam fought down the panic attack that he could feel starting and took a few more very deep and measured breaths.  

"I think it would be best if you returned to the bunker for the time being.  I will return when I have answers," Castiel said.  

"How long do you think that will take?” Sam asked, willing his voice not to shake as he turned his head in the direction of Castiel again.  "Just so we know, Cas."  

"I am not sure,” Castiel said, his voice gentle.  “I know that I will do everything in my power to help get the curse lifted from you."  

Sam nodded and felt the threat of the panic attack rising again.  "Then we'll head home."  

"Door handle is behind you," Dean said, walking around the car to the driver's side.

"Good thing you like driving so much.  I'm not going to be switching with you for a little while by the looks of things," Sam joked, sliding into the front seat and stretching his legs out.  Humor made the panic attack fade, at least for the time being.  

"We're going to get your eyes fixed, Sammy.  I know it.  Cas'll find something."  

**  
  
  
**

 


	2. Chapter 2

  
  


 

The trip back to the bunker was a special kind of hell.  Dean was unwilling to leave him alone for more than a few minutes at a time, and had almost refused to leave the hotel room to go get food other than what they could have delivered.  The coddling was getting to be more than Sam could stand.  Eventually he snapped that he was an adult and that Dean could leave him alone for twenty minutes while he went to go grab food.

 

Dean was pissed, he could tell, but he wasn't about to be treated like a fucking child.  He might be useless at the moment, but he wasn't a kid.  He was going to have to learn to deal, and he would make the best of it.  

 

When Dean parked the car and got out, Sam climbed out as well and waited for Dean to lead him to the bunker.  He heard the sound of the door opening and counted to ten, waiting for Dean to come back for him.  No sound, nothing.  "Dean!"  

 

"Shit!"  Dean said, scrambling back up the stairs to where Sam was still standing by the Impala, his arms crossed over his chest.  "Well, let me be the first to tell you that your bitchfaces are just as lethal as ever."  

 

Sam didn't bother dignifying that with a response as he let Dean lead him to the Bunker and downstairs to the table.  Sam spent the next few minutes laying out a mental map of the rooms that they knew of and the distances from each of the rooms.  He knew them better than he’d thought.  Now he just needed to figure out a way that he could try and help Cas.  

 

A few minutes later, he could hear Dean walk back into the room.  Testing a hunch, Sam balled up a small piece of paper and threw it in Dean's general direction.  

 

"How'd you do that?  That was some serious daredevil shit right there!"  Dean said. “That hit me square in the chest!”

 

"I can still hear perfectly fine.  You also walk fucking loud," Sam said, chuckling.  "And I'm glad to see that worked like I planned. I was afraid I’d miss you by a huge margin and you'd get all weepy on me."  

 

Dean snorted.  "We should try that with a knife and darts.  See how your aim is."  

 

"It's not like I've forgotten how to throw or shoot, Dean," Sam said, glaring in the general direction of his brother.  "I just need someone to tell me what I can't see."  

 

"You're going to be utter shit with moving targets," Dean said.  A chair squeaked as he pulled it out and sat down, then paper rustled as a pencil began to move across it.  Was Dean _drawing_?

 

Sam hummed and relaxed back into the chair.  "I don't think so.  Maybe if they don't make noise.  But everyone besides Cas and what?  Ghosts?  They all make noise."  

 

"I think that we’re on temporary hiatus until you get your sight back,” Dean said. “It's good to know that you can defend yourself though."  

 

"Quit acting surprised.  Now, you need to download voice to text software to my laptop," Sam ordered, holding up his bag until Dean took it.  "I'm not about to be without some ability to help Cas.  And I can still type.  I just need software to help."  

 

"Sam," Dean said, taking the laptop bag and putting it on the table.  "This is going to be temporary."  

 

Sam took a slow, deep breath.  "It could be, or it could not be.  The truth is that we aren't sure at the moment.  It's a curse, cast by a god or goddess that we don't know, using materials I couldn't smell or see, and it's powerful enough that Cas can't lift it.  I’m facing the reality of our situation."  

 

"You're going to end up freaking out, you know that, right?" Dean’s voice was taut with frustration.

 

"I don't have time for a full-blown panic attack," Sam growled, flexing his fingers and tightening them into fists again.  "You'll need to go lift a couple of books on Braille for me too.  I need to be able to read.  Maybe we can get Cas to change some of the books into Braille-"  

 

"Sam, you are not going to stay blind!" Dean growled.  

 

Sam took a deep breath. "I certainly hope not.  But right now, I need to act like I will need to live like this and I need to try to get used to it."  He sat up at the sound of wings and turned around in his chair.  That was more than just Castiel.  

 

"Okay, the Daredevil shit is starting to get freaky," Dean snapped.  

 

Sam ignored his brother and stared at where he was pretty sure Cas was standing.  "Who’s with you?" he asked, gripping the chair tightly.  

 

"Wow, you weren't kidding, were you, Cas?  Blind as a bat and no idea what caused it!"  Gabriel’s unmistakable voice said.  Sam flinched as he drew nearer.  "What, Sasquatch, not happy to see me?"  

 

"Cas, what the hell is _he_ doing here?"  Dean asked.  His chair creaked as he stood up and moved closer to Sam.

 

Sam stood up and took two steps closer to touch his brother on the shoulder.  "Dean.  I think Gabriel might be here to help."  He waited for Dean to move to the side and then looked towards the angels.  "Gabriel."  

 

Sam appreciated the sound of Gabriel starting to take steady breaths.  Cas was still silent beside him, but now he could hear Gabriel as he walked closer.  He made a point to have his shoes squeak too.  Dammit.  Gabriel really did know.

 

"I'm two feet in front of you,” Gabriel drawled.  “You're looking at my chin, need to bump the look up about four-ish inches."  

 

Sam adjusted his posture immediately, a swell of gratefulness sweeping over him.  He nodded.  

 

"There we go.  Okay.  Your eyes look perfectly fine and undamaged.  Cas said he didn't feel any physical damage, which is good, because that means that whatever is causing this is reversible."  Gabriel paused briefly.  "I'm going to reach out and touch your left arm.  You're going to feel warm.  That's the touch of my Grace.  If it hurts at any time, pull your arm away."  

 

Sam nodded again and waited until he heard the small rustle of Gabriel's jacket moving before a warm hand was pressed to his forearm.  Gabriel kept breathing, nice and slow, and Sam focused on it, breathing in sync with him.  It took a minute for him to feel the warmth that Gabriel had warned him about, but the second he did, it swept through him.  He gasped, his head falling back, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath.  

 

"Any pain?"  Gabriel asked.  

 

Gabriel sounded...worried.  It was a new tone, one he hadn't heard from the archangel before.  Sam shook his head and looked down at the angel.  "No.  No pain.  Just...it's you."  

 

Gabriel chuckled.  "A fraction of me, but, yes, in theory."  

 

Sam nodded, dropping his head to focus on Gabriel's voice again.  It sounded like his Grace felt.  Warm.  Comforting.  He closed his eyes again as he felt the Grace slowly start to fill him.  It felt a little bit like what Lucifer had, but this wasn't an intrusion.  Gabriel's Grace was careful and hesitating, making sure not to press too hard or demand too much from him.  

 

"Well, Cas was right about it being a curse."  Gabriel slowly pulled his Grace out and away, and Sam shivered.  "And the touch feels familiar, but I couldn't tell you whose it is."  

 

Sam sighed and sank back into the chair.  Damn.  So much for finding out who was responsible for this and ganking their ass so he could get his sight back.  "Is it fixable?"  

 

"Probably," Gabriel said.

 

Sam took a deep breath and nodded. That was a new tone.  A serious one.  He wasn't sure that it suited Gabriel at all.  "Okay.  So, permanent for the time being.  I can deal with that."  He looked back down at his hands and sucked in a breath.  "Dean, you're going to need to be my eyes while we research and while Cas and Gabriel try to-"

 

"Hell no, I'm not!  I'm going to help them gank the bastard who did this to you!"  Dean protested.  "You can stay here and research!"  

 

"And how I am I supposed to do that when I can't fucking see?" Sam snarled, glaring in the direction of his brother.  "I am _blind_ , Dean.  I might not be helpless, but I certainly can't sit in a bunker full of books that I can no longer read or see!"  He pushed himself to his feet and clenched his hands into fists.  "Do you understand anything about what I am dealing with?  Do you realize that I don't remember where the forks or knives are?  That I can't easily eat what is on a plate in front of me because I can’t fucking see it?   I feel fucking useless, because I should be able to help with this and I-”

 

"Sam." Gabriel's voice was quiet beside him.  A small, warm hand pressed to his forearm again.  "Come with me."  

 

Sam didn't have a chance to protest before he heard a beating of wings and then he was somewhere else.  Gabriel immediately released him and Sam could hear the sound of nature.  They were somewhere outside.  "Why did you take me away?" he growled.  

 

"You couldn't see your brother's face," Gabriel said, quietly.  "He was devastated.  He does know, Sam.  And he is going to do everything he can to make sure that you come out of this with your sight again.  Don't doubt that.  But you have to understand that your brother doesn't know what you are struggling with because he’s so used to you being self-sufficient."  

 

Sam groaned and covered his face with his hands, sighing.  "Is there somewhere to sit around here?"  

 

"There's a bench twenty feet to your left.  Back of it will be facing you; it’s raised four feet high.  You should be able to touch it," Gabriel said, striding past Sam.  "I'm sitting on the left side."  

 

Sam frowned as he heard Gabriel move away.  A second later he heard a snap and the crinkle of a candy bar.  "You aren't going to help me?"  

 

"There's nothing else in your way.  Walk twenty feet.  Find the bench.  You can hear my voice," Gabriel said, taking another bite.  "We're alone, at least for the time being."  

 

Sam growled and took a few steps forward, reaching out for the feel of the bench.  It wasn't there and he resisted the urge to shout in frustration.  "You lied!"  

 

Gabriel’s voice floated through the air from a few feet away.  "You only walked fifteen feet.  You need to learn your stride length."

 

It took Sam a few minutes and he grunted in triumph as he found the bench and sat down.

 

Gabriel tapped Sam on the shoulder with a candy bar.  "Here."  

 

"What kind is it?" Sam asked, taking the candy bar.  This, at least he could manage to eat.  

 

Gabriel hummed.  "You tell me."  

 

Sam frowned and looked at the bar.  He opened it a fraction and sniffed it.  Chocolate.  He ran his fingers over the length of the bar.  Not Hershey.  Twix or Three Musketeers.  He cracked it and felt the small drip of caramel onto his fingers and grinned.  "Twix."  

 

"Good," Gabriel said.  "You're only as useless as you let yourself be."  

 

"I wish I could believe that," Sam said as he ate the candy bar.  "But like Dean said, I'm going to end up breaking down and having some sort of panic attack.  I can feel it."  

 

Gabriel snorted.  "Sam, if you didn't have a panic attack, I'd be worried.  First off, stop thinking that your brother doesn't care and doesn't want to help.”  

 

"He's treating me like a child!"  Sam snapped.  

 

"Because you're acting like one and he needs to keep you safe."  Gabriel said, reaching out to touch Sam on the arm again.  "Look, here's the simple reality of the situation right now.  What you said hurt, because you are acting like he doesn't care about you.  But someone who found out his brother was blind a few hours ago isn't going to suddenly become the perfect blind companion.  He’s going to fuck up."  

 

Sam bit down on his lip, guilt immediately swelling over him.  Fuck, Gabriel was right.  "I...shit."

 

Gabriel bumped Sam’s shoulder with his.  "Right.  So, before I send you back and you go man up and cry on your brother's shoulder and let him do the big brother thing, I need to ask you a few things."  

 

"Okay," Sam said, finishing off the candy bar.  

 

"First off, do you want to be like Daredevil?  I mean, it wouldn't be exactly the same, but I can heighten some of your other senses to compensate for your loss of sight, at least until I figure out what is going on."  Gabriel paused as Sam’s eyes widened, and then burst out laughing.  "Fuck, Sam, I offer to turn you into a superhero and you stare at me like I'm crazy!"  

 

"But, wouldn't that, wouldn't that fuck with things, when I got my sight back?" Sam asked, turning to look at Gabriel.  

 

Gabriel snorted.  "Give me some credit here, Sammo.  It'd be a small bit of my Grace living in you.  When you get your sight back, I take it back and you go back to mostly-normal hunting."  

 

Sam took a deep breath, considering.  "Side-effects?"  

 

"Uh.  You have my Grace inside you?"  

 

Sam frowned and turned to Gabriel.  He sounded hesitant and unsure.  "You sound like you don't know."  

 

"Because, I uh, don't," Gabriel said, chuckling a little bit. "Like at all, really."  He shrugged.  "There hasn't really been a record of an angel doing something like this, so we're pioneering a new field here."  

 

"Could it hurt?"  Sam asked.  Dammit, he felt like a coward for needing to ask that question, but he needed to know.  

 

Gabriel touched Sam's arm again.  "No more than my Grace felt inside you earlier."  

 

Sam nodded.  "Okay.  After I've talked to Dean."

 

"That's fair," Gabriel said, squeezing Sam's hand.  "Second thing.  You need to train.  You need to teach yourself to start using your other senses to compensate for what you're lacking right now.  You need help."  

 

"Fuck, yeah," Sam said, pushing his hand through his hair, tugging on it lightly.  "Not sure we can bring anyone like that back to the bunker either.  And it's not like I can drive to a clinic..."  

 

Gabriel snorted.  "Or you could just ask me really nicely and accept the fact that you're going to have to deal with my terrible pickup lines."  

 

Sam tilted his head and looked in the direction of Gabriel.  Gabriel had sounded so matter-of-fact, like the situation was already decided and there was nothing that he needed to do to make it better.  He sucked in a slow breath.  "Gabriel, would you please help?"  Even though he couldn't see the smile coming from Gabriel, he could feel it.  

 

"Of course," Gabriel said, his voice soft.  "I'll make sure that you can kick your brother's ass, even while blind.  You've got the training, you just need to learn to rely on your other senses instead of your eyes.  And if it's any comfort to you, you’re a hell of a lot further along than most humans."  

 

Sam laughed and shook his head.  He should have known that Gabriel would say something like that.  "I suppose it is some comfort."  

 

"All right.  I think that's all for now.  I'm going to zap you back to the bunker.  Now play nice and give your brother a fucking hug, okay?" Gabriel said, reaching out to touch Sam's shoulder.  

 

Sam could have sworn that he could see Gabriel's wings spread before the sound of feathers ruffling came again and they were back in the bunker.  He took a deep breath.  The bunker smelled different, the air not as fresh.  The filtration kept it from being musty or dank, but it was definitely different compared to where he and Gabriel had been before.  

 

"Sammy!"  

 

Sam turned in the direction of Dean and took a deep breath.  He could smell the faintest touch of gun oil as well as hear Dean's breathing.  Gabriel had heightened his senses, but not so much that it wasn't manageable.  "Hey Dean."  He stood up and walked along the side of the table, trailing his fingers against the wood.  

 

"Are you all right?  Where the fuck did Gabriel take you?"  

 

Sam tilted his head.  Dean's voice sounded a little off.  Almost...damp.  As though he'd been...  Dammit, now he felt even more like an asshole.  "Just somewhere to knock some sense into me," he said, pushing his fingers through his hair.  "Can you come stand in front of me?  I can't tell where you’re sitting."  

 

"Shit!" Dean swore, scrambling to get in front of Sam.  "Yeah, sorry.  Standing, uh, three-ish feet in front of you and-"

 

Sam wrapped his brother in his arms, holding him tight.  He pressed his face into Dean's neck and let a small sob escape him.  Dean froze for a long moment before wrapping an arm tight around his waist, the other going into his hair.  Sam sucked in a few breaths of Dean, of his brother and safety and everything that he needed at the moment.  Fuck.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  

 

"No, no, no, it's fine, I'm the one who’s sorry," Dean said, clearing his throat.  "Fuck, Sam, I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to-"  

 

"Dean," Sam growled, holding on tighter.  "Shut the fuck up and let me just apologize for being a dick to you for the last two days, okay?"  

 

Dean was quiet, but nodded against him and Sam relaxed as well, sagging into his arms.  "All right.  Bitch."  

 

Sam laughed through his tears, rubbing his face against Dean's collar as he cried.  "Jerk."  

  
  


 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Sam wasn't sure how long he cried, or when Dean managed to convince him to move to the couch so he could stretch out with his head on Dean's thigh, but he'd needed it.  The impending feeling of panic was gone and now he just had to get to work.  And talk about a few things.  But mostly work.  "I think we should start by making a list of the gods and goddesses who could possibly be pissed at us."  

 

Dean snorted.  "I dunno, all of them?  The apocalypse wasn't exactly the best Christmas card in the world."  

 

Sam laughed and sat up.  "Oh god, fuck, that's right, I didn't even think about that."  He looked in the direction of the kitchen and frowned.  Glass of water.  He could manage that.  "Dean, is there anything in the way of the couch and the kitchen?"  

 

"I can get you whatever-"  

 

"I wanna try," Sam interrupted, standing up.  "Now I see why those damn sticks are so fucking handy.  Okay.  So, is it twenty feet to the kitchen doorway?"  

 

"Eighteen!" Gabriel called. The easy chair in front of the TV creaked as he flopped into it.  "Can we put Doctor Sexy on?"  

 

"I think you ruined that show for me," Dean grumbled.  

 

Gabriel snorted.  "Bullshit.  Put it on, I know you have it recorded."  

 

Sam focused on the space in front of him.  Gabriel and Dean would have told him if there was something in the way that would prevent him from reaching the kitchen.  He took a step when Gabriel's cautioning voice broke out again.  

 

"Your stride is three and a half feet, ya tall bastard.  Calculate accordingly.”

 

Sam grinned and took another few steps, reaching out for the doorway to the kitchen.  There!  He wrapped his hand around the edge and stepped into the kitchen.  It took him a minute to remember where the glasses were.  Dean and Gabriel were bickering over which female doctor was the sexiest.  Gabriel was laughing and it was different.  Relaxed.  They were both ignoring him completely and not waiting for him to make some sort of mistake.  Okay.  He could do this.  

 

He moved to the cabinet on the right and slid his fingers over it.  He frowned when he didn't find the handle.  Okay, find the bottom.  Now trail fingers across, aha!  Sam grinned and opened the cabinet, reaching inside for a glass carefully.  Sam closed the cabinet and made his way over to the sink.  Exactly opposite.  

 

A quick reach for the faucet, and he had his glass of water.  He yelped and dropped the glass when it ran over and he cursed.  Of course he hadn't thought to time that.   

 

"Put one of your fingers into the rim of the glass and that way you’ll feel it when it fills," Gabriel said from the doorway.  

 

Sam nodded.  Okay.  He could do that.  He picked up the glass and smiled, filling it slowly with water.  

  
  


~!~!~!~

  
  


Over the next six weeks, Gabriel was a literal godsend.  No matter what the issue or the roadblock was, he helped getting around it.  Sam could even tell the difference between Gabriel's wings and Castiel's wings now.  Gabriel's were louder, and if he were to be believed, it was because he had six of them compared to Castiel's two.  

 

Sam kept shaking his head every time he learned something like that.  Gabriel said it so flippantly, like it didn't matter that an archangel was spending most of his time helping him learn how to cope with everything.  "Gabriel, when are you going to get tired of helping me?" Sam asked, taking a sip of his coffee as they walked, glad that the angel had his hand tucked in his arm, leading them as they walked...wherever they were going.  Gabriel made a confused noise and Sam looked down at him.  

 

"Why would I get tired of you?  I'm pretty sure it's the other way around," Gabriel said.  Wood sounded hollowly under Sam’s feet as Gabriel pulled him to a stop, setting his hand on a railing.  The sound of trickling water reached Sam’s ears.  They were on a bridge, somewhere.  

 

Sam frowned.  Gabriel sounded tired and resigned, which wasn't like him at all.  "Gabriel-"

 

"I mean, it's pretty impressive that you've managed to last six weeks dealing with me being constantly in your pocket," Gabriel said, waving his hand.  "I mean, I'm hard to put up with on most days.  And then there's our history, so you certainly aren't fond of me."  

 

"Gabriel!" Sam growled, stopping the archangel with a hard tug of his hand.  "Would you shut up already?"  Gabriel's silence was far more intimidating than his noise.  Almost always, he could tell what Gabriel was thinking from the emotion in his voice, the ups and downs as he described things around him and offered advice on how to deal with the simplest things.  Sam frowned and reached out to touch his hand.  "Gabriel?"  

 

"I'll take you back to Dean now, kiddo."  He snapped them back into the bunker and left Sam standing in front of the couch.  

 

Sam sank down onto the couch and curled up tight.  Fuck.  How had he managed to screw that up too?  He'd just meant...  He didn't want Gabriel to go.  Sam pushed his fingers through his hair and groaned, hiding his face in his hands.  Fuck!  

 

"Sam?"  

 

Sam's head snapped up.  "Yeah, Cas?"  

 

Castiel stepped closer, footsteps echoing.  "Are you all right?  I thought that you and Gabriel would be gone for most of the afternoon."  

 

"So did I," Sam said, curling up in the corner of the couch tighter.  "Cas, can you turn some music on, please?"  

 

"....Of course Sam."  

 

Sam lost himself in the rhythm of the music, closing his eyes and letting it swell over him.  By the time he heard Dean come into the main room, he was feeling much more calm.  "Hey."  

 

"Hey," Dean said, sounding hesitant.  "You're home early."  

 

Sam frowned.  "Do Gabriel and I stay out late so often?"

 

"Well yeah.  You're with him far more than you are with either of us," Dean snapped back.  "And speaking of the midget, where is he hiding?  We've got the next episode of Doctor Sexy to watch."  

 

"Fuck if I know.  Go ask him yourself," Sam snapped, standing up from the couch and walking carefully in the direction of his room.  "I'm sure he’d be more than happy to spend time with you!"  

 

He shut the door behind him and leaned against it.  A tentative knock sounded and Sam rolled his eyes.  He’d know that knock anywhere.

 

"Dean.  Go away,” he snapped.  

 

A brush of fabric came from the other side, as though Dean was leaning against the door.  "Sam, you haven't been like this since we first realized something happened.  I know it's been six weeks, but we're trying.  It's not like we've stopped looking for a cure for you.  And you're the one who wanted to treat this as permanent, I might remind you.  So untwist your fucking underwear and _talk_ to me!"  

 

"Gabriel isn't coming back," Sam said, sighing.  "Just, I'd like to be alone for a little while, Dean.  Please?"  

 

Dean sighed.  "I'll be back with dinner in a few hours.  Fair?"

 

"All right," Sam allowed, trudging over to his bed.  He settled down onto the sheets and curled up tight.  He was going to have nightmares tonight; he could already feel it.  Dammit.  He always fucked up the good things in his life.  And now everyone was angry with him.  Dean, Gabriel, Castiel.  They all thought he was just frustrated with being blind, but that wasn't the only thing that could have made him angry.  It just made him more frustrated that they couldn’t see that.

  
  
  
  


~!~!~!~

  
  


"Well, well, well, Sammy.  Haven't seen you in months!  I've missed you!" Lucifer said, sauntering closer to where Sam was huddled on the ground.  

 

"You aren't real," Sam growled, squeezing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see the archangel’s mock-sympathetic smile.

 

"I'm as real as I need to be in this place," Lucifer said, spreading his arms wide.  "And it looks like you've given me control tonight!"  

 

Sam flinched and curled up tighter.  "I haven't given you anything.   _Nothing_."  

 

Lucifer tutted and shook his head.  "You give me weapons often, but you might not recognize them."  He shrugged.  "And now you've run off Gabriel, the one person who really cared about you in this mess and was trying to make things better for you.  But no, you had to go and fuck it up again, didn't you?  Always broken, Sammy, always so broken."  

 

"Shut up!"  Sam snarled.  

 

"You know you were just a distraction for him.  Something that he could while away the time with until he could pick up his roots as a pagan again.  He has no interest in actually helping you.  You were a fool to think so, don’t you realize that?"  

 

Sam bit down on his lip and kept his eyes clenched shut.  "You aren't real."  

 

"I'm as real as you are in this place," Lucifer purred, leaning down to whisper in Sam's ear.  "You could have loved him, couldn't you?  He's been so gentle, and he's made you laugh and relax.  Being blind hasn't felt like a terrible thing with him around, has it?"  

 

"Get away from me!" Sam snarled.  "You’re wrong!"

 

Lucifer laughed softly.  "You know I’m right.  You feel Gabriel's loss keenly.  You couldn't keep him, just like you can’t keep anyone you’ve ever cared about.  You've killed them all, toxic thing that you are.  You were right to be cursed."  

 

Sam snarled and swung wildly, his fist going through Lucifer’s image like air.  He fell back, panting.  "You’re wrong.  You’re wrong about him and about me!"  

 

Lucifer spread his hands wide and looked around.  "If I am wrong, Sammy, and I don't think I am, where is he?"  He tilted his head, looking concerned, as if he actually cared.   "This is your dream.  Summon him here.  Have him stop me.  Have him _kill_ me!  After all, this is your dream.  Aren't you the one in control?"  

 

Sam froze and stared at Lucifer, bile rising in his throat.  "Gabriel," he whispered, clenching his eyes shut again as the Devil laughed.  "Please.  I'm sorry.  For, for whatever I did or said.  I'm sorry, I just, I need your help.   _Please_."  

 

"He's not coming," Lucifer whispered, stepping closer to Sam.  "He's going to abandon you, leave you all alone until you can only dream of his voice and how it sounded when he laughed."  

 

"Think again, Luci. Sam's done dreaming about you!"  

 

Sam's eyes snapped open and he stared at Gabriel as he impaled the Devil with his angel blade.  Lucifer dissipated in a brilliant flash of light and then Gabriel was striding closer to Sam, his whole body glowing gold and his eyes bright with fury.  Sam scrambled back and away from him.  

 

Gabriel froze.  As Sam stared at him, Gabriel took a slow breath and reined in the anger, tucking his wings back into the invisible plane.  He stepped closer to Sam, once again contained entirely in his vessel.  "Sam?"  

 

Sam looked up at Gabriel and relaxed a fraction.  There.  That was the Gabriel he knew.  Maybe Gabriel wasn't too angry at him.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  

 

Gabriel knelt down in front of Sam, carefully touching his ankle.  "You don't need to apologize," he said.  

 

Sam flinched and shook his head.  

 

"He hasn't visited your nightmares for months,” Gabriel continued. “What happened?"  

 

Sam stared at Gabriel.  If he told Gabriel what had happened, would Gabriel leave again?  This time for good?  He shook his head again.  "Guess it was time for my monthly visit or something."  He took another deep breath and tried to let the last of the panic fade.  "I… thanks.  For getting rid of him."  

 

Gabriel tilted his head and nodded, sitting beside Sam and resting their shoulders against each other.  The rest of the tension started to drain out of Sam and in the matter of a few minutes, he was relaxed.  "You can see here, can't you?"  

 

Sam looked out across his dreamscape and watched as things started to shift.  "I can, yeah.  But this is my mind, and my mind isn't damaged, right?"  

 

"It's one more piece to the puzzle, Sasquatch.  We'll figure it out," Gabriel said, bumping his shoulder.  He frowned and looked back across the field that had started to appear., then smiled as he and Sam were put into lawnchairs.  He relaxed back into his with a contented sigh.

 

"Are you really here?"  Sam asked, looking at the archangel.  Gabriel had said that he wasn't surprised that Sam was sick of him and that had implied leaving and not coming back for the near future.  Sam knew it would be better not to think about that, to not think about losing Gabriel's voice and how it had become a regular around the bunker.  Talking with Cas, bickering with Dean, giving Sam directions or advice when he needed them.  

 

"Where?  In your dreams?  ‘Cause I'm definitely not curled up in bed with you.  I'd remember that, I have no doubt," Gabriel said, smiling a little.  

 

Sam bit his lip and cleared his throat.  "No, I meant my dreams.  Are you really here?"  

 

Gabriel hummed and stared up at the bright sun.  "I can't really physically be here.  Is a piece of my Grace, manifesting as me, inside of you and protecting your dreams from further nightmares?  Yes."  

 

"Why can't you physically be here?"  Sam asked before he lost his courage.

 

Gabriel blinked in surprise and looked over at him.  "Well, I'm short, but even I am not going to, you know, fit into your head, Sam," he said, smiling a little wider as he stretched.  

 

"But where are you right now?” Sam persisted.  “I mean, you snapped me back and didn't say anything and I'm confused because I think we argued, but we didn't really and I-"

 

Gabriel interrupted him.  "This is what had you torn up in knots, isn't it?  That made you have a nightmare?"  

 

Sam flinched and stared down at the bottle of beer that was now in his hands.  "Fuck, that makes it sound so needy.  But I got used to you being around, and so did Dean and Cas.  We…kinda want you around, okay?"    _I_ kinda want you around, he added mentally, but he swallowed the words before he could say them aloud.

 

Gabriel smiled and raised his beer to clink it with Sam's.  "Then I'll be back tomorrow."  

 

Sam stared at Gabriel's smile and wished that he could see that smile in the real world, kiss it off his lips.  He was pretty sure that it would taste like sugar.  Or candy.  Or other delicious things.  "All right."  The rest of the tension that he had been carrying fell off of him and he took a slow and deep breath.

 

"Hey Sam?" Gabriel looked over at him.  

 

"Yeah?" Sam asked, smiling again as he leaned back in the chair.  

 

Gabriel hesitated.  "You'd look totally rockin' with an eyepatch."  

 

Sam burst out laughing at the ridiculous statement and stared at Gabriel, watching him dissolve into laughter only a moment later.  He'd deserved that, but fuck, watching Gabriel laugh was a beautiful thing.  "Well, maybe for Halloween, but not any time this year."  

 

Gabriel pouted.  "Fine fine, ruin all of my fun, I see how it is.  You just want to ruin it."  He grinned as Sam laughed again, the remainder of the tension draining away from his body as he started to relax.

 

"Can you imagine Dean's face if I started walking around with an eyepatch?"  Sam asked, dissolving into giggles again.  "Oh fuck, what if I wore two!"  

 

Gabriel’s laughter bubbled up, bright and infectious.  "I can't imagine his face, but I think you might have to do that, just so we can know the reality of what it would look like."  

 

Sam snorted and shook his head.  "I don't know if you are going to be able to convince me of that.  You can certainly continue to try, but I make no promises whatsoever."  

 

Gabriel laughed and pushed at Sam's shoulder.  "Fair enough, Sammich.  Fair enough."  

 

Sam closed his eyes again and gave a happy sigh, relaxing back into the chair.  He was tired now and he wanted to rest and relax.  "Hey, Gabriel?"  

 

"Yeah?" Gabriel asked as the dream started to dissolve.  

 

"I liked this.  Thanks," Sam mumbled, curling up in his chair as it morphed into a bed.  He liked laughing with Gabriel and making him smile like that.  It was nice.  He missed it.  He didn't get anyone to smile like that anymore.  Not even with Dean.  

 

Sam stretched and woke up, padding over to the bathroom, yawning as he went in and got showered.  It was late, but he'd gotten some sleep that he desperately needed.  He made his way out to the kitchen, counting the steps as he went, stopping right at the door frame.  He just wanted some fruit and maybe some orange juice.  

 

"You pull that stick out of your ass from yesterday?"  Dean asked from his seat at the table.  

 

"Yeah, sorry."  Sam looked over his shoulder and tossed an apple at Dean, grinning at the sound of Dean catching it.  "Just a bad day.  Had nightmares two nights in a row too."  

 

"Lucifer?" Dean asked, coming to stand beside Sam.  

 

Sam finished pouring his orange juice and put it back into the fridge.  "Yup.  Gabriel gave him a serious ass-kicking and knocked him to the curb, so I should be good for the future though." He took a long chug of his orange juice, finishing it before putting the dishes in the sink.  

 

Dean touched his arm.  "Everything okay with you two?  You looked like a mess yesterday."  

 

Sam shrugged and bit into his  apple.  Dean sounded concerned.  Worried.  Thinking that Gabriel had hurt him, or something ridiculous like that?  "Just a misunderstanding.  We cleared it up."  

 

"All right.  Gabriel mentioned he'd be back a little later today.  Said he had a lead on who cursed you."  Dean stretched, shoulder brushing Sam’s.  "You know where that book on the demon lore you found a few weeks back is?"  

 

Sam frowned.  "Can you describe what you need out of it?"  

 

"The one that had you cursing a blue streak at the mis-conjugated Latin," Dean said, and Sam threw his head back and laughed.  

 

"That one, right!  Okay, it's going to be on the left, third shelf, probably about six or seven books in," Sam supplied.

 

"Awesome!" Dean said, standing up and finishing off his apple before tossing it into the garbage can.  Two seconds later, the core from Sam's apple followed his into the trash and he scowled.  "Freaky Daredevil!"  

 

Sam laughed again and put his glass in the sink, following his brother to the library.  Sixty-seven steps with Dean's stride.  Fifty-eight with his.  They'd find the book together.  Dean could at least read the butchered Latin to him and Sam would be able to tell right away whether or not it was the right book.  Always nice when the bastards made it easy.  

 

"All right.  Grab the books from the first half of the shelf.  There're what?  Six?  Seven?" Sam asked, settling into his usual seat.  

 

"Six," Dean said, picking them up and bringing them to the table.  He spread them out in front of Sam.  "More freaky Daredevil shit?"  

 

Sam snorted.  "I'm just going to see if I can remember what they feel like.  I'm not even sure that I can, but it's worth trying."  He picked up the first book and trailed his fingers over the spine.  "This one feels too new.  What's the title?"  

  
  


 

 


	4. Chapter 4

  
  


Gabriel popped into the library a few hours later.

 

Sam was slowly trailing his fingers over a book of Braille when he heard Gabriel come flying into the room.  "Hey Gabriel, looks like you will be in time for dinner after all!"  

 

"Freaky.  Fucking.  Bastard," Dean said, admiringly.   "You figured something out, didn't you?"  The tenseness of his tone alerted Sam, who clenched his fingers on the book and then slowly shut it turning to where he knew Gabriel was standing.  Finding something out could mean one of a dozen things.  He took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for the news.  

 

"Gabriel?"  

 

"Good news first," Gabriel said, taking a seat beside Sam.  "I know who cast the spell.  I know what they used."  

 

Sam exhaled and nodded.  "Okay.  Okay."  That was great, now they would have a place to start and they could start researching and try to find out how to reverse whatever curse it was that they had used.  He took a deep breath.  "Bad news?"  

 

"I'm not sure it's reversible," Gabriel said, his voice quiet.  "They've used a blood curse.  Ancient magic, old as Cas.  Not quite as old as me, but that's why we can't fix it with our powers."  

 

Sam took another slow breath and tightened his hands on the table.  "Who was it?" he asked.  

 

"It doesn't matter," Gabriel said, shaking his head.  "Friend of your ex-girlfriend.  Who isn't too pleased at you giving her what she deserved and thought she’d pay you back.  Got tangled up in power she didn't understand and couldn't control.  Ended up overwhelmed and died shortly after casting it.  Which is why I'm not sure I can undo it."  

 

"You needed her, didn't you?" Sam said, his voice flat.  

 

"Yes,” Gabriel said.  “But I'm seeing if we can unravel the spell another way.  I called in a favor."  

 

Sam frowned and blinked at Gabriel.  "A favor?  From who?"  

 

"From the only person on this planet who knows more about blood spells than Gabriel," Kali said, her voice smooth as she walked into the room.  "It's not every day that an archangel asks for help from a pagan, Gabriel.  I am almost impressed."  

 

"You know me,” Gabriel said, amusement in his voice.  “Humble to my core."  

 

Kali stepped closer to Sam Winchester.  "I am going to touch your neck.  If they pulled the blood from there, it would have been the most potent."  

 

Sam nodded and tilted his neck back a fraction for her.  He shivered when her fingers wrapped around his throat.  They weren't warm.  They were almost cold, but powerful.  She could snap his neck in an instant, but if she was willing to help...

 

"Ah.  So that is what they have done.  Little fool.  Playing with such magic," Kali said, pulling her hand away.  "I can reverse the spell."  

 

Sam immediately sagged back into the chair, breathing hard.  He was going to be able to see again.  It wasn’t permanent, he would be able to see!  He turned to where he knew Gabriel was sitting and gave him a blinding grin.  He was going to be able to see!  "Gabriel-"

 

"But," Kali cautioned.  

 

Sam tensed again and turned to her.  "But?"  

 

"You are bound to this spell.  At the other end of the binding lies the dead body of a demon.  If I unravel the spell..."  

 

Fuck.  "I end up dead too, don't I?"  

 

"Yes."  Kali said.  

 

Gabriel sucked in a breath.  "Kali.  What if...what if Sam were bound to something else.  Someone else.  Someone other than the demon.  Could you unravel the spell then?"  

 

Kali was silent for a long moment.  "You mean to offer yourself as the anchor."  

 

"Gabriel-"

 

"The fuck is an-"  

 

"I don't believe-"  

 

"Quiet!" Gabriel roared, silencing all of them, and stared at Kali.  "Is it an option?  I want to know if it is a viable one.  If I were the anchor, would you be able to unravel the spell from Sam?"  

 

Kali nodded.  "Yes.  And it would cause him no lasting permanent damage.  The damage of being anchored to Grace though-"  

 

Gabriel shook his head.  "Doesn't pose any actual danger to humans.  Only to pagans."  He grinned at her.  "Why do you think I refused?  I wasn't about to kill you.  I liked you!"  

 

"Indeed," Kali said, pulling a card out of the clutch purse at her side.  "If you choose to go through with the unraveling, contact me.  Then do not do so ever again."  

 

"What do you think you are doing?” Dean demanded.  “You can't risk Sam like that, or fuck, even agree to her slimy fingers on him either!"

 

"Kali is the only person who can unravel this spell,” Gabriel snapped, “literally the only one.  And if you don't want your brother to die, which I’m pretty sure is the case, then you need to follow along as well!"  

 

Sam sat frozen as he listened to Dean and Gabriel continue to bicker.  Those were his choices.  Remain blind forever, or be bound to Gabriel and...and...what did that even mean for an archangel, being bound to a human?  What did that mean, what was involved in a binding?  Sam leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes as he listened to Castiel join the argument, pointing out that it was Sam’s choice.

 

That didn't stop Gabriel and Dean from shouting at each other, their voices getting louder by the second.  Sam tightened his hands on the chair and tried to breathe.  He could see again.  He could.  But he had to remain bound to Gabriel.  Or he could stay blind.  He'd already learned to live with a few things, but...

 

Sam stood up, moving quietly as he left the library.  Dean and Gabriel's argument trailed off not longer after and Sam heard Gabriel pop into the room to sit next to him on the bed.  "You don't have to bond with me,” Sam said immediately.  “I don't want to make you do that, and I'm sure there’s someone else that you’d much rather bond with."   

 

Gabriel bumped his shoulder into Sam's.  "I'm not going to let you stay blind for the rest of your life because some demon had a fucked up vendetta against you."  

 

Sam took a deep breath.  Gabriel sounded so calm.  Calm and certain.  Sam wanted to melt into the sound of his voice forever.  "What does it involve for you?"  

 

"My Grace living inside your soul.  Your soul, living inside me.  Bound together."  Gabriel huffed out a laugh.  "I'm sorry I didn't ask you what you wanted.  Castiel was very angry at me for not doing that.  I know better.  Besides, I doubt you want to be bonded to my ass.  Just, the option is there."  

 

Sam smiled at the sound of Gabriel's laugh and leaned against him, closing his eyes for the briefest moment as he rested his head on top of Gabriel's.  "I don't know what I want to do."  

 

"Kali's offer doesn't have an expiration date, Sam.  Think on it."  Gabriel stood up.

 

Sam looked up .  The archangel hadn't left the room yet.  He frowned and tilted his head, staring at where he thought Gabriel might be.  "Gabriel?"  

 

"Yes?"  

 

Sam frowned at Gabriel, trying to place that tone of voice.  It was one that he hadn't heard before.  It was strange and different.  “You...offered.  Immediately.  Didn’t hesitate or pause, you offered that as an option…”  He turned to Gabriel and tried to listen, focusing in on him.  But Gabriel was soundless, not even breathing now.  “Gabriel?”  

 

Still silence.  Nothing.  Sam fidgeted, starting to regret asking.  “I mean.  There’s something at risk for you too, right?  But you just…”  

 

“Think about it and I’ll be back tomorrow.  I’ll protect your dreams if dear bro tries to show up again,” Gabriel promised, disappearing from the room.  

 

Sam made a small noise of frustration as Gabriel disappeared in a beat of wings.  He slammed his fist down on the bed and growled, curling up into a ball.  Fuck.  This shit wasn’t fucking fair, with Gabriel pulling this kind of bullshit.  He took a deep breath and relaxed down into the bed.  

 

Bonded to Gabriel.  His soul inside Gabriel’s Grace and Gabriel’s inside him.  Sam closed his eyes as he slipped under the blankets, humming to himself as he remembered the  warm and soft touch of Gabriel’s Grace.  Would it be so terrible to be bound to Gabriel?  No.  It very likely would not be terrible.  

 

_"You could have loved him, couldn't you?”_

Lucifer’s voice echoed in his mind and Sam flinched, curling in tighter on himself.  He could.  And Gabriel would know, would feel that, when they did the soul-bond thing.  Sam sucked in a breath and pressed his face into the pillow, breathing hard as he whined.  Fuck.  That answered it for him then.  

 

He’d...feel whatever for Gabriel from afar.  And try not to imagine what it might be like to be bonded to him, to see again.  Sam curled up and buried his face in the pillow as he cried, doing his best to say goodbye to the idea that he could ever be healed so he could see again.  

  
  
  


~!~!~!~  

  
  
  


“Jesus, Sam, did you sleep at all?  You look like shit!” Dean said, watching as Sam shuffled into the room, his cheeks pale and his eyes red and swollen.  “Have you been crying?  What the hell happened?”  

 

“Nothing,” Sam whispered, making his way to the kitchen, forcing himself to do the mental calculations for how it would take to get through the room with his slower pace.  He poured himself a cup of black coffee, lifting it to his lips and downing almost half of it while it was still scalding.  

 

The caffeine was a jolt to his system and Sam shook his head, trying to clear the fog his brain felt mired in.  He should eat, but he wasn’t even close to hungry.  He finished off the rest of his coffee and sat  down at the table, hiding his face in his arms.  

 

Gabriel’s voice sounded above him.  “Hey Deano, Sammich, Cassie!  How are you three doing this morning?”   

 

There was silence as Sam kept his face buried in his elbow, and then Dean’s chair scraped on the floor as he stood.

 

“I’m going to grab a shower.  You two have fun with your chat.”  He made his way back to the bathroom and held the door open for Cas to follow behind him.  

 

“He’s a terrible liar,” Sam said quietly, listening to Dean and Cas’ footsteps as they padded into the further reaches of the bunker.  

 

Gabriel pulled up a chair beside Sam.  “You going to tell me what happened?”  

 

Sam shook his head, clearing his throat.  “Nothing.”  He tightened his hands around the mug of coffee in front of him.  Gabriel sat in silence and Sam tried not to grit his teeth together.  Damn Gabriel for always being able to have more patience than him.  Sam sighed.  He might as well get it over with.  And it would be better without Dean and Cas here.  

 

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.  “Gabriel.  You asked me to think about it.  And I have.”  

 

“Excellent,” Gabriel said, sounding pleased. It’ll take a little time to gather the stuff together to do the bond, it’s been a while, and I can-”

 

“Gabriel.”  Sam interrupted, his tone taking on an edge of desperation.  “I’m not...I’m not going to make you bond to me.”  He bit down on his lip when Gabriel froze, going silent again.  “I can’t do that to you, you don’t deserve that.  I’ll-”  

 

“You’d rather be blind for the rest of your life, when it’s _reversible_ , rather than be bound to me.  Fuck, kiddo, message read loud and clear.  I’ll get out of your hair,” Gabriel said, his voice flat and emotionless.  

 

“Gabriel!”  Sam heard the snap echo in the room, followed by the sound of wingbeats and covered his face, muffling a sob.   _Fuck_!  That wasn’t how it was supposed to go!  Gabriel was supposed to, supposed to, not fucking run away!  “Gabriel, dammit, come back here!”  

 

Silence.  Nothing but the far off sound of the shower.  

 

Sam grabbed the mug of coffee in front of him and resisted the urge to throw it across the room.  He slammed it down on the table and stood up, heading back to his room, locking the door behind him.  Seven paces to his desk.  He grabbed it and yanked the right hand drawer open, fumbling around in it, until his fingers closed around what he needed.  

 

He knew the sigil from memory.  Sam could have drawn it, blind or not, with his eyes closed.  When he finished it, he let the chalk fall to the floor and stumbled to the bed.  Now no angels would bother him.  Not Cas or Gabriel.  

 

_“You feel Gabriel's loss keenly.  You couldn't keep him, just like you couldn't keep anyone you have ever cared about.”_

_“You were right to be cursed.”_

 

“Shut the fuck up!”  Sam snarled, covering his ears with his hands.  Lucifer only laughed again, the sound echoing in his mind.  “Shut up, go away, _shut up!_ ” he shouted.  

 

_"He's going to abandon you, leave you all alone until you can only dream of his voice and how it sounded when he laughed."_

Sam sobbed and shouted into the pillows, screaming in frustration.  “Go away!”  

 

_“He did.  And he’s never coming back, thanks to you.”_

Sam reined in his next scream and pressed his face tightly into the pillows.  Lucifer was wrong, wrong, wrong, he had to be wrong!  Gabriel would come back!  He would!

 

_“He’s never coming back, thanks to you.”_

That hadn’t been what he meant.  He wanted Gabriel.  Wanted him so badly that he ached with it.  Sam pressed his face into the pillow and choked on another sob.  He hadn’t wanted to drive Gabriel away.  He’d just wanted….

 

Wanted Gabriel to want him for _him_.  Not because of his sight, or this stupid blood curse.  Just...because he was good enough.  But he wasn’t good enough.  Never had been good enough.  Not after everything.  He was tainted.  Never good enough for someone like Gabriel.  

  
  
  


 


	5. Chapter 5

  
  


Gabriel glared at his phone when it rang for the third time in five minutes.  Two days.  He’d only been gone two days!  They could survive without him for a damn week while he nursed what was definitely not a broken heart.  Archangels didn’t get broken hearts, especially as the result of pretty boy hunters.  

 

Damn Castiel.  The name flashed on the screen.  After another thirty seconds it went dark.  Only to light up again.  Gabriel swore and grabbed the phone, flipping it open.  “ _What_?”  He snarled.  

 

“Something’s wrong with Sam,” Castiel blurted.  There was nothing but silence on the other end of the line.  “He’s locked himself in his room and  put a sigil on the door.  I can’t get in, and neither can Dean.”  

 

Gabriel clenched his eyes shut and pretended that the news didn’t matter to him one fucking bit.  It didn’t matter.  At all.  “He’s a big boy-”  

 

“We can hear him screaming, sometimes,” Castiel whispered, watching as Dean pounded at the door again.  “Telling someone to shut up, to go away.”  

 

Dread swept over Gabriel and in an instant, he was standing next to Castiel, before snapping his phone shut.  “Of course you can’t make any of this easy.  Of course you fucking can’t,” he growled.  

 

Gabriel pushed Dean away from the door and pressed his hand to it.  He reached out with his senses and pulled his sword out of his jacket.  “Castiel.  Protect Dean.”  

 

“The sigil-”  

 

“Was not meant to keep out an archangel,” Gabriel said flatly , flames licking down the length of his sword.  In a fluid motion, he stabbed the blade through the door and cut through the sigil.  He pulled his sword out again and tucked it away, looking over his shoulder at Dean and Castiel as he put his hand on the doorknob.  “Don’t open the door until I come out.  I don’t care what you hear.  Understand?”  

 

Gabriel didn’t bother waiting for an answer as he opened Sam’s door, remaking it with a thought as he slammed it shut behind him.  Sam was whimpering on the bed, curled up, dried tear tracks down his cheeks.  Gabriel’s Grace ached at the sight as he strode towards the bed and sat down on the side of it, reaching out to touch Sam’s hair.  

 

“Sam,” he called, keeping his voice quiet and gentle.  Sam needed gentle right now.  Gabriel reached out and combed his fingers through Sam’s hair.  “Sam, kiddo, look at-”  

 

“Get away from me!” Sam shouted, flinging the hand away from him, rolling to the other side of the bed before his whole body crumpled in on itself again.  

 

Sam’s eyes were manic, unfocused.  He didn’t recognize Gabriel  at all, trapped in his own mind, a victim of Lucifer’s residual torture.  “Sam,” Gabriel said, climbing onto the bed before crawling on top of Sam.  

 

He forced Sam to uncurl and pinned him to the bed, holding him down until frantic hazel eyes were staring upward, roaming around wildly.  Gabriel cursed the demon all over again.  He pinned Sam to the bed and pressed their foreheads together, waiting for Sam’s breathing to calm.  “ _Sam_.”  

 

This time there was recognition.  And...fear?  Gabriel frowned and watched the fear grow on Sam’s face.  “Sam.  I’m here.  It’s all right.”  

 

Sam shook his head and pulled back, pressing into the pillows harder.  “You’re just gonna, gonna leave again, I’ll screw up and make you leave and this time you’ll stay gone-”  

 

“ **Samuel Winchester** ,” Gabriel said, his voice echoing with power.  Sam froze under him.  Sam was turned to look at him, but his eyes were unfocused again, and his breathing was too fast to be normal.  

 

Sam trembled, his fingers flexing under the hold Gabriel had on them.  “Gabriel, I can’t-”  

 

“Why wouldn’t you bond with me, Sam?”  Gabriel asked, resting his forehead against Sam’s.  His Grace was slowly sinking into Sam, chasing away all of the dark clouds and exhaustion that had taken over him.  “Tell me why.”  

 

Sam trembled and closed his eyes, sagging under Gabriel’s hold.  “You didn’t want me.”  

 

Gabriel’s eyes flared bright gold and he glared at Sam, about to protest when Sam opened his mouth again.  Gabriel stilled.  

 

“You wanted to help.  Protect me, maybe.  But I wanted...wanted you to want me.  For me.  Not because of some stupid curse.  I’d rather live without my sight for the rest of my life than...than force you into something when you don’t want to be there,” Sam whispered, keeping his eyes clenched tightly shut.  

 

Of all the answers that Gabriel had imagined, that one had never occurred to him.  Stupid moose.  “Sam,” Gabriel whispered.  

 

“There’s the tone again,” Sam said, complicated emotions flickering across his face.

 

Gabriel swallowed and stared down at Sam.  “Which one?”  

 

“It was the one right before...before I asked you why you’d offered to bond with me.  It’s the same tone.”  Sam frowned and made a small frustrated noise.  “And I can’t see your face.  I don’t know what it means!”  

 

Gabriel sighed.  “You want to know?”  

 

“Of course I do!”  Sam growled.  “It’s been bothering me since the first time I heard it and then you wouldn’t talk to me and then everything got all messed up and it’s all because of that, that _**tone**_!”  

 

Gabriel scowled and leaned in, nuzzling against Sam’s cheek, feeling him freeze under the touch.  “That tone is when I want to kiss you until you can’t breathe any longer.  The idea that I would never want you is a ludicrous one to me, because I have always and will always want you!”  

 

Sam was utterly still.  “I...you...what?”  

 

Gabriel huffed out a laugh and pushed his forehead against Sam’s again, pulling back the floodgates on his Grace, letting power flood into the human, chasing away the last of the dark clouds that had been circling over him.  His Grace delved into the very deepest corners of Sam’s soul and only wrapped itself more tightly around the human, coaxing Sam to reach out and do the same.  “Bond with me,” Gabriel whispered.

 

Sam reached up to grab Gabriel’s hair and yanked him into a kiss, a low, desperate groan escaping him as he did, leaning up to deepen the kiss, wanting more.  “Gabriel,”  he whispered, before diving into another kiss.

 

“Bond with me,” Gabriel demanded, his voice soft as he pulled back from Sam.  “We don’t need the ritual.  Here, your soul, it’s already here.  You in me and me in you.  Please,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss Sam again.  “I can’t let you go again.”  

 

“Yes.  Yes.  Gabriel, yes, please,” Sam whispered between the desperate kisses, pulling Gabriel in as their kisses got deeper and sloppier.  He felt fuzzy, his mind spinning as Gabriel pressed him into the bed, his tongue hot and demanding.  

 

He could feel Gabriel’s Grace and it was so different from Lucifer’s.  It was warm and gentle, sinking deeper into him, until he felt like he was about to burn up, but no, Gabriel wouldn’t let that happen.  Sam gasped as something seemed to click into place and then he could _feel_ Gabriel.  Gabriel’s devotion, his passion, his love, oh, there was so much love, all of it for him.  

 

Gabriel pulled back from the kiss and nuzzled Sam’s neck.  “One thing we need to do to seal the ritual,” he said, leaning down to kiss the pulse pounding in Sam’s throat.  “We need an orgasm.  A mutual one, at that.”  

 

Sam laughed and tilted his head back, groaning as Gabriel banished his shirt and kept kissing lower.  “This isn’t the time for one of your pickup lines, Gabriel.”  

 

"Not a pickup line," Gabriel whispered against Sam's chest .  He smiled and Sam could feel the curve of his lips against his skin.  "It's a Pagan Ritual.  I can't break the seal of the blood curse, not without Kali here, but I can bind you to me and only me."  He pressed another kiss to the tattoo over Sam's heart, the tattoo that had kept him safe for many years.  

 

"You, uh, so they weren't just jokes, were they?" Sam asked, dropping his hand to Gabriel's hair so he could comb his fingers through it and feel  the archangel shiver.  

 

Gabriel snorted and nipped at Sam's skin, watching him gasp.  "You are the most oblivious fucking human I have ever met.  Ever.  And that's saying something.  Honestly Sam.  Of course I wasn't just joking.  I've wanted to jump your damn bones-"  

 

Sam shut Gabriel up with another kiss, pushing up and into him.  It took a moment, but he flipped him over and pinned him to the bed, pressing him into the sheets.  He licked deeper into Gabriel's mouth and groaned.  "Fuck, Gabriel, the things you would say..."  Sam whispered, only able to tear his mouth away for a few minutes.  

 

"I meant all of them," Gabriel growled, dropping his hands to Sam's ass, forcing him to rock closer, pressing his thigh between Sam's.  

 

Sam moaned again and pressed his forehead to Gabriel's, swearing as sweet-as-fuck friction sent fire racing up his spine.  "Gabriel..."  

  
  


~!~!~!~

  
  


Sam yanked himself away from Gabriel and switched their positions quickly, spreading Gabriel's legs wide.  He moved between Gabriel's thighs and lined up their dicks and rocked his hips down, gasping out his next moan.  "Fuck, yes, like this, so good, Gabriel, please."

 

Gabriel caught his breath.  "Yes, yes, like this, Sam, please..."  He kept his hands on Sam's hips, rocking up into his every thrust down, their motions getting even more frantic.  

 

"Wanted this," Sam panted, shifting to place his hands on either side of Gabriel's shoulders as he rocked down and into him harder and harder, so hard, fuck, he wasn't going to last.  He shifted and pressed his lips to Gabriel's ear, feeling the archangel shudder under him.  "Wanted you like this, crying out for me, pulling me closer, demanding more."

 

Gabriel cried out and held onto Sam's hips tighter as Sam moved against him.

 

"Come on, Gabriel, want to feel you, fuck, please!" Sam ordered, his hips rocking down more insistently.  He was so hard he was dizzy with it, and he could feel that Gabriel was glowing, growing hotter with every second.  He could feel Gabriel look at him, his gaze heavy and weighted.  Sam wanted him even more, wanted Gabriel to look at him like that forever, like he belonged and like he was wanted.  

 

Gabriel yanked Sam into another kiss and his hips stuttered, bucking desperately up.  Sam could feel Gabriel swelling against him, even through the damn jeans and fuck, fuck, fuck, they were both there!  

 

Sam buried his face in Gabriel's neck as the archangel screamed, his entire body arching.  He followed Gabriel over the edge a moment later, his orgasm so powerful that he didn't even care that they had just both come in their pants like fucking teenagers. It took him a few seconds, but Sam groaned and pulled his face away just enough so that he could speak.  “Could we, uh, lose the clothes?”  

 

Sam relaxed when suddenly they were both naked and clean.  He made a happy noise and nuzzled into Gabriel’s neck again before freezing.  “Uh.  Am I, uh, heavy?”  

 

Gabriel grunted.  “You’re a moose.”  

 

Sam chuckled into Gabriel’s neck and nibbled at the skin there.  "How about you give me a serious answer instead of telling me I am a giant?"  

 

Gabriel grunted and poked Sam in the side.  "Arch.  Angel.  I could lift you with my pinky if I wanted to."  He yawned and stretched his neck.

 

"That sounds potentially painful and not at all like something I would be in to.  Why would I want to let you do that again?"  Sam asked, tilting his head so he could rest his ear against Gabriel's collar.  Slowly, he let the rest of his weight come down on top of the angel, but Gabriel  didn't even flinch.  

 

"Because I can pick you up and throw you over my shoulder and I have a feeling that you'd like that," Gabriel said, reaching down to comb his fingers through Sam's hair, gently undoing the knots as he came across them.  

 

"Maybe."  Sam croaked out, clearing his throat a little as he hid his face against Gabriel's skin.  He could feel more than hear the teasing tone that had accompanied the word.  "Is the bond always going to feel like this?"  

 

Gabriel hummed.  "Like what?"  

 

Sam gestured to Gabriel in a lazy motion.  "I can feel you smiling at me. Is that... you?"  

 

"Mmm."  Gabriel didn't say anything so much as make a noise as he stretched.  "Probably.  Hard to say for sure."  

 

Sam froze and stared down at the shadowed figure he could see on the bed, sitting up a little bit to look over his shoulders.  They were dark and shadowed, galaxies contained in such a small body.  They were bright and crystal and sparkling, stars among stars, twisting and turning, hundreds of thousands of colors he had only imagined in his faintest dreams.  They spread the full length of the bed and further, bursting out of the room, sinking into the walls and floor as Gabriel moved them.  "Gabriel is that, are those...?"  Sam choked on the words, but couldn't force them out of his throat.  

 

Gabriel looked over his shoulder.  "Sam, what are you talking about?"  There was nothing there to see.  Nothing that Sam could see.  

 

"They're...they're beautiful.  Is this what they look like?  Like they’re made of sparkling galaxies and shadow and crystal, all at once?"  Sam asked, his voice filling with wonder as he turned his head to appreciate the width of the wings.  They had to be wings, Gabriel's wings.  There was nothing else that they could possibly be.  Nothing else could be so beautiful and terrifying all at once.  

 

Gabriel was very still.  "Sam, I don't..."  He swallowed and reached up to stroke over Sam's cheek slowly, carefully.  "Can you see?"  

 

Sam shook his head.  He couldn't see, but the image was there, regardless.  The bright wings, just now starting to fade from, from whatever this was.  He tightened his hands on the sheets, wanting to demand that they stay, so he could see and appreciate the beauty forever.  "I just...I'm seeing you, without seeing you?  Maybe like I can almost see you in some form of my mind?"  

 

Gabriel hummed again and tilted his head.  "Focus on them.  On what you saw without seeing.  See if they reappear."  

 

Sam huffed and nuzzled into Gabriel's neck again.  "Maybe later.  Right now I just want to stay curled up with you.  Can we do that?"  

 

Gabriel resumed combing his fingers through Sam's hair.  "Of course.  Get some rest and I’ll be here when you wake up."   

 

Sam only nodded against him before almost immediately drifting off to sleep.  

  
  
  


 


	6. Chapter 6

  
  


 

 

When Sam woke up again, he  stretched and blinked a few times before sagging against Gabriel.  

 

"Ready to get your sight back, kiddo?"  

 

Sam tensed and took a deep breath.  He definitely needed to do that.  "Yeah."  

 

Gabriel chuckled and stood up.  "So, how do you feel about showering with me?  Can I convince you?  Do you need a blowjob first?"  

 

Sam laughed and shook his head, counting the steps to the dresser and then pulling some clothes out of it. "Nah, I don't need anything along those lines.  But I would absolutely love a shower with you before you call Kali again."  

 

Gabriel grinned and bounced after Sam, wrapping an arm around his waist and squeezing him.  "You need to say hi to Dean and Cas.  They're the ones who called me here.  They were scared for you."  

 

Sam turned and wrapped Gabriel up in his arms and pulled him close, pressing his face to Gabriel's hair and inhaled the scent of him, as strange and odd as it was.  It wasn't human, but it was most certainly Gabriel.  "Thank you for coming."  

 

"You're the one who’s mated to me now," Gabriel said with a snort.  

 

"Mated?" Sam asked, tensing a fraction before he shrugged.  "That any different from being bonded?"  

 

Gabriel hesitated.  "Slightly...more...permanent?"  

 

Sam nodded and tightened his arms around Gabriel.  "Want to explain that a bit?"  

 

Gabriel sighed and pressed his face to Sam's chest.  "Why did I know that you were going to say that?  Why, oh why, did I know that you were going to say that?"  

 

"Because I'm me, and I want to know what slightly more permanent means," Sam said with a huff, letting go of Gabriel for a second.  "Want to tell me where the heck my sleeping pants are?  They aren't where I left them."  

 

Gabriel snapped them into his fingers and handed them out to Sam, who slipped into them.    

 

"It means that when you eventually die..."  Gabriel took a deep breath.  "I'm coming with you."  

 

Sam turned to where Gabriel was standing and reached out for him.  "Gabriel?"  

 

Gabriel took a breath as he stepped into Sam's arms.  "Yeah?"  

 

Sam tightened his arms around Gabriel and picked the archangel up, holding him as close as he possibly could.  "You can really come with me?  I don't have to...have to..."  

 

Gabriel's Grace damn near exploded with a burst of happiness, lighting up Sam's soul between the two of them.  "Nothing is going to keep me away from you."  He laughed.  "You're just going to have to get used to me."  

 

Sam grinned and held Gabriel close.  "I can do that.  I can absolutely, definitely do that."  

  
  


~!~!~!~

  
  


“You are certain of this?”  Kali asked.  

 

Sam blinked, wishing that he could see her face.  “You’re asking me?”  

 

“I am.”  

 

Sam looked in the direction of Gabriel and then back to Kali.  “Not to, uh, offend you, or anything, but why wouldn’t you ask the archangel involved here?”  

 

Kali turned to look at Gabriel and frowned.  “You haven’t told him?”  

 

“Of course I told him.  I might just...have left...a few things out?  Sorta?”  Gabriel rubbed the back of his head and sighed.  “Sorry, Sam.”  

 

Sam huffed and stared in Kali’s direction.  “What hasn’t he told me?”  

 

“This is permanent and cannot be undone,” she said.  

 

Sam shrugged.  “Okay.  Anything else?”  

 

“Kali-”

 

Kali held up her hand to Gabriel.  “I owe you a debt, Gabriel, but it is to Sam that I do this.  I will not have him do it uninformed.”  

 

“You’re not going to scare me away,” Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest.  “I’m here, and I don’t care what you say about Gabriel.”  

 

Kali chuckled and raised an eyebrow.  “Even that he could have children?”  

 

“Okay, no, no, no, no, I am having that conversation with Sam when I can look him in the eye and explain that he doesn’t need to worry about knocking me up, because that isn’t how it works-”  

 

“You can have kids?”  Sam asked, turning to Gabriel.   _Dammit_ he wanted to be able to see right now.  

 

Gabriel sighed and dragged his hand over his face.  Small blessing that Dean wasn’t standing here, because he was certain that he wouldn’t hear the damn end of it.  “I, technically yes.  But Sam, I would really, really like to have this conversation after you can see me again.”  

 

Sam snorted and turned to Kali.  “Anything else that you need to tell me about him before we proceed?”  

 

Kali hummed.  “He enjoys being held down.”  

 

“Kali!”  Gabriel shouted.

 

“That was a new tone.  Gabriel, are you embarrassed?” Sam asked, his lips starting to curl into a smile.  

 

“Mortified is the appropriate word Sam, mortified,” Gabriel mumbled through his hands.  “Kali, can we please go ahead and get this over with?”  

 

“As you wish,” Kali said  “Sam, step with Gabriel into the circle.”  

 

Sam took a deep breath and waited for Gabriel’s hand to touch his.  He moved into the circle and felt Gabriel’s Grace moving inside him, calming him.  “This might be a really stupid question to ask at this point, but this isn’t going to hurt, is it?”  

 

Gabriel tightened his hands on Sam’s.  “It won’t hurt, Sam.  I promise.”  

 

Kali laid her hands on top of theirs and her power tugged at Sam.  Sam held onto Gabriel as Kali’s power slowly tore the bond between Sam and the demon to pieces.  

 

Sam clenched his eyes shut and took a slow, deep breath.  Gabriel’s hands were still tight on his and Kali had finished her chanting.  “Is it over?”  

 

“It is,” Gabriel said, looking up at Sam.  “Open your eyes and look at me, Sam.”  

 

Sam swallowed hard and faced Gabriel.  “What, what if they aren’t-”

 

“Sam,” Gabriel whispered, stepping closer to him.  “Open your eyes.”  

 

Sam nodded and took another deep breath, opening his eyes.  The light was blinding at first and he blinked more rapidly, his eyes taking several minutes to adjust.  He was looking at the floor.  It was the same worn wood he’d walked over a thousand times.  

 

He gasped and raised his eyes to Gabriel.  Golden eyes were grinning at him, bright and happy.  Sam reached out and yanked Gabriel into his arms, kissing him desperately, pulling him in closer.  Sam moved back and cupped Gabriel’s face in his hands, staring at him.  

 

Gabriel’s eyes were wide and his lips were kissed red and swollen, exactly as he had always imagined they would be.  Sam laughed and pulled Gabriel in for another kiss, this one slower and deeper.  “Gabriel, fuck.  You’re beautiful.”  

 

Gabriel stumbled a little as Sam suddenly pulled away from him and grabbed his hand, dragging him through the bunker.  “So I’m guessing the kids thing isn’t a problem?”  

 

Sam grinned at Gabriel and just soaked in the sight of him.  “Get naked,” he ordered, pointing to the bed.  “I want to see you, I want to just look at you for as long as I can, can you do that for me?”  

 

Gabriel swallowed and snapped away his clothing, climbing onto the bed.  He spread his legs for Sam and stretched his arms behind his head.  “Well, I’ve been ogling you non-stop, so go ahead and take your time.”  

 

Sam snorted and moved closer to the bed, stripping his shirt, jeans, and boxers off only moments later.  Gabriel was staring at him, just as hard, so Sam grinned and flexed a little bit.  “Fuck, you are gorgeous,” he breathed.  He settled between Gabriel’s spread legs, staring hungrily.

 

“Nah, you’re the-”  

 

Sam shot Gabriel a dirty look.  “I am not getting in a compliment contest with you,” he growled, reaching out to trail his fingers along Gabriel’s skin.  He moved his hands higher, his knuckles trailing over the soft skin of Gabriel’s thighs.  “I think that bite marks here would look fucking perfect, don’t you?”  

 

Gabriel shivered and spread his legs a little wider, his cock half-hard and growing.  “Yes, oh fuck, Sam.”  

 

Sam gave a small chuckle.  “I think that I am going to mark up every inch of you.”  He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Gabriel’s hip and nuzzled at the trail of hair down his navel.  “So soft.  So perfect.  Dreamed about touching you,” Sam whispered, kissing and nuzzling his way up Gabriel’s chest, slow and careful about every touch.  Gabriel keened under him, but Sam kept it up.  

 

“I want to worship you.  I am _going_ to worship you,” Sam decided, his movements careful and measured as he climbed on top of Gabriel. “I can feel how much you love every single second of this and I want to make sure that you have even more, that you have everything you need.”  

 

Gabriel sucked in a hard breath of air.  “I might remind you that I am the one who is the archangel here.  I want to take care of you.”  

 

Sam smiled and licked his lips, shifting so he was straddling Gabriel’s hips and leaning down to whisper against his lips.  “You already did.”  

 

Gabriel stilled under him, not even breathing now.  

 

"So let me go ahead and do this, all right?" Sam murmured.

 

Gabriel nodded again, and Sam leaned down to press a kiss to his collar bone.  "You gave me what I needed when I didn't even know that I needed it," he whispered, licking at Gabriel's skin and humming around the flavor.  

 

"Sammich, you don't need to do-"

 

"Your voice is gorgeous," Sam interrupted, sliding both of his hands down Gabriel's chest.  His skin didn't react like a human’s.  It was denser, with no give to it.  And so, so warm.  Sam smiled and pressed a kiss to Gabriel's sternum.  

 

Gabriel huffed.  "Sam-"  

 

"You treated me normally," Sam whispered, reaching up and trailing his hands down and over Gabriel's arms, holding him while he shuddered.  "I needed that.  You helped, but you didn't baby me."  

 

"Sam, if I'd babied you, you would have kicked my ass.  Rightfully so," Gabriel said.

 

Sam sucked at Gabriel's skin, just above his nipple and licked his lips at the low moan the archangel gave.  "You aren't wrong.  Especially after you made me all badass."  Zings of pleasure were bleeding off Gabriel and Sam grinned.  Feedback loop of pleasure.  Hell yes.  

 

"Dean had way too much fun with you being Daredevil.  Daredevil and Batman make a pretty good-ah!"  Gabriel moaned, shuddering hard.  

 

"Heh.  Like that, do you?"  Sam sealed his lips around Gabriel's nipple again, sucking hard.  Gabriel's hands dropped to the sheets and fisted in them, yanking on them.  "I'm going to worship every inch of your skin.  Bite and suck and leave my marks on you."  

 

A thought occurred and Sam pulled his mouth away to look up at Gabriel.  "Are they going to stay?  Cas' wounds always healed right away."  Sam kissed at the forming bruise just above Gabriel's nipple.  

 

"I can make sure they stay," Gabriel panted.  

 

Sam smirked when Gabriel swore after he bit down on Gabriel’s skin again.  He sucked hard and watched another mark start to bloom on golden skin.  “Good.  Do that.  I want to look at you, marked up and panting, begging for me, claimed by me.”  Satisfaction, bright and visceral, curled through him.  “You like that idea, don’t you?  

 

Gabriel moaned even louder and writhed under him and Sam grinned.  "I like how noisy you are.  Love that I can hear you and see you and feel you."  Sam pressed a hand to his chest where Gabriel's Grace was curling with delight inside him.  "I think I could get used to this."  

 

"Good, because you're stuck with me," Gabriel managed, licking his lips.  

 

Gabriel shifted so they could press even closer together and Sam dropped his hands to Gabriel's thighs, squeezing them and spreading him wider.  "I'm going to enjoy being stuck with you.  Very, very much," he promised, licking his lips.  

 

"Especially now that I can feel how much you like something.  So even if you aren't willing to tell me," Sam punctuated the words with a bite to Gabriel's stomach, savoring the loud moan that got him.  "I'm going to make sure that I do everything you like until you fall apart for me."  

 

Gabriel shuddered.  "I am going to pay you back for this."  

 

Sam laughed against Gabriel's skin and sucked on another patch, just above his hipbone.  "I have no doubt you are," he whispered, pressing his thumb into the mark as Gabriel cried out and arched.  "And I am going to enjoy every single second of it."  

 

"Good," Gabriel panted.  

 

Sam groaned when Gabriel's fingers fisted in his hair and gave a tug, trying to lead him further down.  "Patience," he growled, squeezing Gabriel's thighs.  Gabriel's Grace protested his resistance, but Sam slowed down.  

 

"Patience, or I'm never going to get to what you want." It was an empty threat and they both knew it, but Sam was enjoying torturing him.

 

He pulled away and grinned, widely when Gabriel growled in protest.  "Speaking of wanting, what is it that you want?"  Sam squeezed the muscles of Gabriel's legs and waited for golden eyes to focus on him again.

 

"Sam!"  Gabriel protested.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE SASSY KALI WHO IS GETTING BACK AT GABRIEL FOR BEING A LITTLE SHIT, IT'S WONDERFUL.


	7. Chapter 7

  
  


 

 

Sam gave Gabriel a sunny grin and batted away Gabriel's hand when it tried to tug him back down to where he had been.  “Nope, I want to hear you say it.  Come on," he cajoled, licking his lips, watching as Gabriel's eyes dilated.  "Tell me what you want."  

 

Gabriel swallowed and stared at Sam.  "You're getting off on this, you teasing bastard."  

 

Sam laughed and planted both of his hands on either side of Gabriel's shoulders and leaned down, pressing the length of their bodies together, pinning the angel down.  It might have been an illusion of strength, but Gabriel shuddered and gasped under him, so it was a good one.  

 

"I know you are too," Sam whispered, leaning down to kiss Gabriel, slow and soft.  When he pulled back, Gabriel's eyes were glowing again, bright with Grace and desire.  "Tell me what you want.  I want to hear you say it."  

 

Sam pressed a finger to Gabriel's lower lip, groaning when Gabriel opened up for him and sucked his finger into his mouth.  "Tell me," he ordered.  

 

Gabriel pulled his mouth back just enough to whisper against the pad of Sam's finger.  "I want your mouth on me."  

 

Sam smirked and moved his hand away from Gabriel's mouth, leaning down until his lips were level with Gabriel's ear.  He didn't do anything other than exhale against the shell of Gabriel's ear and felt the archangel shudder down to his very Grace.  "Where, Gabriel?  Where do you want my mouth?  Tell me."  

 

"Fuck," Gabriel swore, grabbing Sam's hips.  

 

Sam gave a slow wiggle, grinding Gabriel's cock against his belly, watching Gabriel growl again.  "That's not a place, that's something you want to do to me, or me to do to you," he teased.  

 

Gabriel licked his lips, panting softly.  The sound was obscene and had Sam shuddering, even as he waited for Gabriel to answer him.  "Come on, Gabriel, tell me," Sam said.  

 

"Want your mouth on my cock," Gabriel groaned the words out, bucking his hips up.  

 

Sam chuckled and nipped at Gabriel's earlobe.  "I bet you do.  How much?"  

 

It was easy to feel how desperate Gabriel was, rocking and bucking against him, trying to goad him into more.  His Grace was doing the same, curling tighter inside him, teasing at him.

 

Sam shifted so his thighs were pinning Gabriel down and lifted himself up so there was no way for Gabriel to rub against him.  He smiled when Gabriel made another loud noise of frustration and strained under him.  "Come on Gabriel, I'm not even asking to hear you beg.  We'll save that for another time.  I just want to hear how much you want my mouth on your cock."  

 

"Fuck, Sam, please," Gabriel pleaded, opening his eyes to stare up at Sam.

 

Sam shivered and kissed him, groaning when Gabriel's fingers immediately dove back into his hair and tugged him even closer.  He bit down on Gabriel's lower lip and pulled himself away, sitting back on Gabriel's thighs.  

 

"Sam?"  

 

Sam raised an eyebrow and looked up at Gabriel.  "Yes?  Did you not want me to go ahead?"  

 

"No, no, no, by all means, go ahead," Gabriel said, waving a hand.  

 

Sam snorted and pressed a kiss to Gabriel's hip bone, right over the mark that he had made earlier.  "Good.  Only one rule.  Keep your hands out of my hair.  I want to be able to look up and see you.  Got it?"  

 

"Fuck," Gabriel breathed.  "Yeah.  Got it."  

 

"Good," Sam purred, licking his lips as he wrapped a few fingers around Gabriel's dick and pulled it towards him.  The archangel growled again and Sam grinned.  "Impatient, impatient."  

 

"Sam!"  Gabriel growled.  "Stop fucking teasing me!"  

 

"Never," Sam promised, shifting into position so he could suck the tip of Gabriel's cock into his mouth.  By the punched-out groan from Gabriel that got him, Sam figured he wasn't going to complain about teasing any more.  

 

Both of Gabriel's hands dropped to the bedsheets and Sam placed his free hand on Gabriel's hips to keep him from bucking up.  Gabriel's Grace churned in him, white hot and desperate for more.  

 

Sam lifted his eyes to stare at Gabriel as he slowly worked his mouth lower over his cock.  Gabriel's chest was heaving as he sucked in desperate breaths and arched off the bed.  

 

"Sam, fuck, Sam, fuck, more, please, fuck!"  Gabriel begged, tightening his hands in the sheets again.  

 

The sounds of the sheets ripping spurred Sam on further.  He was driving Gabriel wild enough that he wasn't able to keep control of his vessel.   _Good_.  

 

Sam closed his eyes for a brief second and focused on what he could hear.  Gabriel begging and pleading and shifting under him, the slow slurp of his lips as he sucked at Gabriel's cock, taking him in deeper and deeper until he was nearly gagging.  

 

"Yes, please, Sam, please, Sam!"  Gabriel panted.  "Fuck, Sam, you're gonna-"  

 

Sam pulled his mouth away from Gabriel's erection and licked his lips, smirking at the shouted protest that got him.  "Don't worry," he promised, blowing a stream of air against the head of Gabriel's cock, watching as he choked on a breath of air he didn't need.  "I'll finish what I started."  

 

He wrapped a hand around Gabriel's erection and started to stroke him, devouring the sight of the archangel thrashing on the bed, his eyes glowing bright gold now, his hair a tousled mess and a red flush making its way down his chest.  "You're beautiful," Sam whispered.  

 

"Sam!"  Gabriel cried out, half frustration, half demand.  

 

Sam winked at Gabriel and dipped his head down, sucking Gabriel in as deep as he could go in one smooth motion.  He sucked hard and shivered when Gabriel cried out, the sound of the sheets ripping further echoing in the room.  

 

He glanced up at Gabriel as he bobbed his head up and down, sucking hard.  Gabriel was swelling in his mouth and Sam groaned, rubbing his fingers up and down Gabriel's thighs.  Golden eyes met his, pupils entirely swallowed by the golden light of Gabriel's Grace.  

 

Sam shuddered and tightened his hold on Gabriel's thighs.  Gabriel's Grace was growing hot, reaching a fever pitch.  It only took another second for the tension to snap and Sam tried to focus on swallowing as light and heat and power swept over and cradled him.  

 

He pulled away from Gabriel and stared at him, sprawled out on the bed, his chest moving slowly with every breath.  Sam shifted up on the bed, stretching out next to Gabriel.  He chuckled and combed some of Gabriel's hair out of his face while he recovered.  "Good?"  

 

"Good," Gabriel panted, forcing his eyes open so he could look at Sam, "is not the word that I would use.  Fucking hell Sam."  

 

Sam laughed and settled in next to Gabriel, taking in the sight of the angel.  He wasn’t going to pretend that he didn't feel damn proud of reducing Gabriel to a pile of panting goo.  

 

"I can feel your smugness from here," Gabriel muttered.  

 

"Mmm, well, I think I'm allowed to be smug after all of that pagan god bragging you've been doing for the past couple of weeks," Sam said, grinning when he could feel Gabriel's Grace brightening even more.  

 

Gabriel snorted.  "Give me a second and I promise I’m going to make damn good on said bragging."  

 

Sam watched Gabriel lift a finger and poke it into his side, resting his head on his forearm.  He was hard, impossible not to be after that show of Gabriel's, but he could also wait for a little while too.  They had time.  "So, kids?"  

 

"Oh fuck," Gabriel groaned.  "Are we having this conversation now?  Come on!  Can't I bask in the afterglow a little more?"  

 

Sam snickered and grinned at Gabriel.  "It just seems like something I should know, and ever since Kali mentioned it, I’m curious..."  

 

Gabriel shifted onto his side and stared at Sam.  "Do you want to have kids?"  

 

"I'd rather not have any eight-legged children if it's all the same to you," Sam said.

 

Gabriel barked out a laugh.  "No, no, no eight-legged kids.  They would have two legs, be very human-"  

 

"Except for the angel thing?"  Sam asked, raising an eyebrow at Gabriel.  

 

"Yes, there is the angel thing.  They'd likely be a little more than human.  Maybe have longer lifespans, maybe inherit some of my snapping tendencies.  Hard to know," Gabriel said, shrugging.  

 

Sam hummed, before a thought occurred.  "Aren't all children between angels and humans..."  He trailed off.  There really wasn't a delicate way to say that.  

 

“Nah.  If I carry the kid, there’s no issue.  It was humans trying to carry Grace inside them.  Drove them mad.”  Gabriel shook his head, his face falling.  

 

“Maybe,” Sam answered, scooting closer to Gabriel.  

 

“Maybe?”  

 

“Kids,”  Sam said.  “Don’t want them, not yet.  But, maybe.”

 

Gabriel chuckled.  “All right.  Maybe on the kids.  How ‘bout a blowjob?”

 

Sam laughed.  "Gabriel, that was a terrible transition, what the hell?"  

 

Gabriel shrugged.  "I figured I'd ask before you completely lost interest."  

 

Sam snorted as Gabriel's eyes dropped down to his half-hard dick.  "Won't take long to get interested again, promise.  Are you offering?"  

 

Sam swallowed as Gabriel lifted his right hand and took his thumb between his lips, licking and sucking hard.  He shuddered.  "Fuck, I could watch you do that all day," he whispered.  

 

"Trust me, you'd like the view much more if my lips were wrapped around your dick," Gabriel said, pulling away from Sam's finger, licking his lips.  "Is that what you want?"  

 

"Yes," Sam breathed, following Gabriel's push on his shoulders to lay back against the pillows.  He'd be able to see everything without putting a crick in his neck.  "Please."  

 

"You beg so pretty," Gabriel purred.  

 

Sam groaned as Gabriel leaned down to kiss and suck at the skin of his inner thighs.  "Gabriel, fuck, just get on with it!"  

 

"Oh no," Gabriel said, sucking another bruise into the skin of Sam's thigh.  "You got your torture in, now it's my turn.  Sit back, enjoy the show and make sure that you take every second to enjoy the sight of my lips stretched around your cock."  

 

"Fuck!"  Sam moaned, dropping his hands to Gabriel's hair as he started to suck another bruise into his thigh.   He pulled, glad that Gabriel groaned at that.  

 

“On the topic of hair pulling,” Gabriel said, licking his lips.

 

Sam raised an eyebrow.  "Hm?"  

 

"Remember, archangel," Gabriel said, winking.  "Pull as hard as you want, yank as hard as you want.  Make me take you, swallow you whole.  I don't have a gag reflex, so this tends to be one of my specialties."  

 

Sam groaned and yanked on Gabriel's hair, his eyes widening when Gabriel didn't flinch, instead, the gold in his eyes flared brighter.  "Fuck," Sam managed.

 

Gabriel kissed the hard line of Sam's hipbone.  "Just wait until you realize that that means with everything."  

 

Gabriel's eyes glinted and Sam shuddered at the possessive curl of Gabriel's Grace inside him.  "What do you mean?"  

 

"You think Ruby could handle what you can dish out between the sheets?"  Gabriel asked, his voice a low purr.  "You cannot hurt me, Sam.  You can feel every single thing I like, every single thing I love, and every.  Single.  Thing.  I want you to do again and again."  

 

Sam gasped and pulled on Gabriel's hair again, tugging him towards his cock, desperate to feel Gabriel's lips on him.  "Gabriel, please, fuck, want to watch you, please," he begged.  

 

Wet, tight, heat!  Sam struggled to keep his eyes open as he watched Gabriel go down on him, sucking him in deep.  "Gabriel, oh, fuck!"  

 

Gabriel pushed his legs wider and Sam whined, bucking up into Gabriel's mouth.  Gabriel didn't even flinch, only sucked on him harder as he started to bob his head up and down, his  hand wrapping around the base of his dick to stroke him as well.  

 

Sam shouted, pushing up into Gabriel's mouth, until Gabriel had taken all of him in and he could see the angel swallowing around his dick.  "Fuck, fuck, Gabriel, I can't, ah, shit!"  

 

Gabriel's Grace curled inside him, dark and satisfied with his pleading.  He wasn't going to last long and the sight of Gabriel's lips, spit-slick, red and shiny, bobbing up and down over his erection, this was going to be embarrassingly short.  

 

"Gabriel, I'm gonna-"  Sam choked on another loud moan as Gabriel swallowed him back down, all the way to the root and sucked, _hard_. Sam arched, and covered his mouth so Dean wouldn’t hear his scream and have a reason to interrupt them.  

 

Sam fell back to the bed, his chest heaving as he sucked in desperate breaths of air.  “Oh my god, Gabriel…”  

 

“Not that I don’t appreciate the flattery,” Gabriel said, stretching out beside Sam.  “But can we try to keep my Dad out of it?”  

 

Sam laughed and turned to look at Gabriel, reaching out to rub a thumb across his swollen lips.   _Fuck_.  “I can do that.  Sorry.”  

 

Gabriel chuckled and lifted one of Sam’s arms, before moving in close to cuddle against his chest.  “You’re forgiven on account of amazing sex.”  

 

“Just think what it’ll actually be like when we have sex,” Sam said, grinning as he pulled Gabriel closer.  He could feel, rather than see Gabriel’s smirk at that.  

 

Sam blinked as Gabriel tensed and then suddenly burst out laughing, overcome by a fit of the giggles.  “Gabriel?”  

 

“Oh fuck, I fucking forgot,” Gabriel managed, before dissolving back into giggles.  

 

Sam was confused, but Gabriel was radiating laughter and amusement.  “Hey, want to clue me in on what’s so hysterical?”  Gabriel looked up at him for a second before starting to laugh all over again.  “Gabriel!”  

 

“Cas, I fucking forgot about Cas!”  Gabriel said, staring up at Sam.  “Cas, oh fuck, that hurt, and it was perfect, Cas could feel everything we were doing!”  

 

Sam’s eyes went wide and he swore.  “Oh, shit!”  

 

Gabriel nodded, wiping a tear from his eye before starting to giggle again.  “That’s not the best part.”  

 

“What’s the best part?”  Sam asked.  

 

“Dean-o noticed how uncomfortable Cas was, and asked if he could help.”  

 

“ _No_ ,” Sam gasped, starting to grin.  

 

“Yes!” Gabriel crowed.  “And guess what?  Little Cassie took him up on that offer!”  

 

It took precisely half a second for Sam to dissolve into laughter with Gabriel.  “Oh fuck, that’s _perfect_!”

 

And it wasn’t until later, when he was giving Dean a _thorough_ ribbing for what had happened, that he realized.  Sam looked over at Gabriel and grinned when golden eyes immediately found his.  

 

It kinda was perfect.  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, YES, did Destiel get together due to Sabriel having hotter than fuck Grace sex? Yes, yes they did. 
> 
> Also, I haven't decided if I am going to write kidfic yet, but I don't put anything past me. Ehehehe. 
> 
> But for now? That's all folks!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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